5/20/13
When There's No More Coffee?
As I sit here drinking my morning cup of java I think to myself, when the Earth stops spinning and everything drifts off into outer space there will be no coffee. Besides, how can I put my cup to my mouth while wearing a space suit?
Catch 22 Coffee
I get up in the morning, not unlike a lot of other people, in that I need a cup of coffee to wake me. But because I'm not fully awake I forget the coffee and never fully awaken until sometime after the coffee headache begins and I'm reminded I've not yet had my morning coffee.
5/19/13
On A Cleaner Note...
Dirty Word
Word, he was a dirty bird
who sang a dirty song,
slept in a dirty bed each night,
and made his nest all wrong.
A dirty bird was Dirty Word;
just to call his name was wrong,
and so it is, we don’t call, Word,
except to call him gone.
Don’t want no Dirty Word flying ‘round here.
5/9/13
Another Man's Treasure
I'll admit to being a bit of a junk collector. It comes from being poor and having to learn to make do. I've been so all my life. I make things from junk, works of art, airplanes, you know, the usual. And from time to time I find things of value in the trash I'm able to sell for a few extra dollars on E-bay, Craigslist and hopefully soon at our own online business, Wackemall.com, alongside the new items we sell there.
Yesterday I found hundreds of VHS movies, great titles, lots of action adventure, thrillers, blockbusters, you name it, all being thrown away at a house up the street. Almost a full pick-up truck load. I thought we could sell them. Then I looked closer to see they were filled with tiny cockroaches so I left them there and went home just 3 doors down.
A few minutes later a guy in a car stopped, snagged them up as fast as he could fill his trunk, back seat and front passenger seat. I bet he got a surprise!
Yesterday I found hundreds of VHS movies, great titles, lots of action adventure, thrillers, blockbusters, you name it, all being thrown away at a house up the street. Almost a full pick-up truck load. I thought we could sell them. Then I looked closer to see they were filled with tiny cockroaches so I left them there and went home just 3 doors down.
A few minutes later a guy in a car stopped, snagged them up as fast as he could fill his trunk, back seat and front passenger seat. I bet he got a surprise!
Do You Dare Stand Up To Them?
Chair Thieves
The chair thieves come,
“Is anyone sitting here?” they ask
as they carry another away.
I want to answer yes,
but no one is there.
I could say I’m expecting friends
but what if they don’t show?
I’m hoping you will be here soon
but really, I don’t know.
I guess it doesn’t matter now,
the deed’s already done.
I’m sitting all alone again;
again, the chair thieves come.
And again the chair thieves come.
The chair thieves come,
“Is anyone sitting here?” they ask
as they carry another away.
I want to answer yes,
but no one is there.
I could say I’m expecting friends
but what if they don’t show?
I’m hoping you will be here soon
but really, I don’t know.
I guess it doesn’t matter now,
the deed’s already done.
I’m sitting all alone again;
again, the chair thieves come.
And again the chair thieves come.
5/8/13
Answers To A Centuries Old Question
“Which came first?” the people always say.
“Depends,” I always answer,
“on the time of day--
breakfast or dinner?”
5/4/13
5/2/13
On Washington Politicians
They're called elitist bastards and they come in two artificial flavors-- Democrat and Republican.
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