Two Bit Hack: Part 14

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Leaders Emerge

Henry Miller wrote, "The real leader has no need to lead – he is content to point the way." Of course, Henry Miller never tried to lead the population of an insane asylum, an experience tantamount to herding catamounts. Wild cats, lynx, bobcats or cougars for those of you not familiar with my Southern Appalachian vernacular.

Sara, the young woman who sold the flower arrangements, was the gentlest and most patient of souls. While most of the citizens of Asylumland spent most of their time buzzing around like a bunch of idiots, Sara could remain perfectly quiet and still for hours. So much so that she was able to stand in the garden and feed sugar water to the hummingbirds right from the palm of her hand.

So when we learned Sara had managed to kick Larry up-side his head while standing flat footed on the ground we were more than a bit surprised. Though probably not as surprised as was Larry who laid on the ground a good half hour after Sara's second reverse round house kick to his head. You see, Sara didn't appreciate being groped without first inviting a man to grope her. Seems at least part of Sara's patience had been learned in some sort of martial arts training prior to her coming to live with the rest of us.

And so it was that Sara became the leader and covert martial arts instructor for the Loon Squad. When eyes were upon them they practiced their moves in slow motion insisting that what they were doing was yoga. They even managed to get a few of the staff members to train with them. But when the lights were out and no one could see what was really going on, Sara sped things up and turned those lady loons into lightening fast fighters who eventually would no longer need to resort to sex games to take down male prey.

At the same time the Loon Squad was being trained, our congress enacted a sort of encomienda legal system that put groups of women under the protection of a single man. It was a dreadful system that gave lots more power to the men but Janice and the others were afraid to speak out against it because the Loon Squad was not yet up to speed and the women, while very much in the majority, were afraid of the thugs and willing to accept certain losses for their personal safety.

The encomienda system was based on old Spanish Colonial rule of Native Americans. While it wasn't spelled out, it basically gave ownership as well as responsibility for a group of women to one man. As head of the federal reserve I was #2 on the list right behind GI Joe when it came to picking which women I would be responsible for. I decided to make it easy on myself and picked Irene, Sabrina, Janice, Sara and several women who I was sure were ugly lesbians. Well, I was sure they were ugly enough that I'd not be tempted to test the lesbian theory.

Why the ugly lesbians? Well for starters I wouldn't be expected to keep them happy and secondly I wouldn't have to fight with any of the other men over my choices or protect them from being raped. At least, that was my thinking. You see, with ownership came responsibility and there were punishments for allowing your property to be abused. Me? I'd just as soon not deal with it. Yeah, I know, political correctness and all that BS but the ugly lesbians were happier with me than they would have been with some of the other guys and the guys weren't complaining neither.

Of course, just as with the Spanish Conquistidors, Asylumland's encomienda system required that the subjects-- in this case, the women-- pay tribute to their protectors-- the men.  As to what and how much, that was up to each protector. With little of value and scant currency, slavery and sexual slavery became the most common form of tributes paid.

Rather than resort to slavery I decided to make a deal with the women under my protection. Irene and Sabrina provided me with all the sex I wanted. I presumed of their own free will. I wasn't interest in Janice or the ugly lesbians and Sara could kick my ass any time she wanted to so without an invitation I'd not go there. But if we didn't at least put on a show then the others would catch on and problems would arise. And so it was I went through life with what appeared to be the most obedient group of slave girls in all of Asylumland. While other men were constantly trying to enforce their rules or getting dragged before congress because they failed to do their jobs, I did nothing and did it well. That kept me at a bit of an economic disadvantage but that was life and who was I to complain?

Of course, the real leaders were still emerging and I wasn't one of them. While I spent most of my time shirking responsibility, Janice, Sara and Joe were quietly working to pull things together behind the scenes. Our congress was essentially useless just like most elected bodies but unlike Washington with its political parties and century of partisan gridlock, our congress was learning to simply point the way.

As I've explained before, one of the biggest problems Asylumland faced was that of a lack of resources and no real trading partners. Most of what was brought in from the outside was brought in by hospital staff and security guards in exchange for blow jobs. And most of what was brought in was crap, marijuana, alcohol, drugs, all things that were quickly consumed and then gone with no economic benefit what-so-ever. Of course, when I brought that to the attention of congress their reaction was that perhaps those imports should be seized and sold but I pointed out that Asylumland wasn't a real country and that a drug bust would, without a doubt wreck our little economy altogether. I explained that it might be better if congress issued a list of legal items for which blow jobs could be traded and then the person giving the blow job, presumably a woman, could sell the item inside.

The vote was unanimous. Yes, there was some objection to passing laws that essentially allowed prostitution to go on right under our noses but our entire economic system was already so deep in prostitution we couldn't get a handle on it. Besides, why pass laws that couldn't be enforced? Unlike the other congress, our congress was getting smarter if only slightly. Of course, it would be up to the men who owned these women to make sure the new economic laws were followed but seeing there was potential profit in it there was little doubt at least some would try.

Continue To Part 15: Target On My Back