Two Bit Hack: Part 8

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Taking Care Of Business

With my responsibilities as head of the federal reserve removed I had a little more time to tend to business. I decided to use it wisely.

Over time, with the new influx of money and nothing to spend it on the new money became worthless and Billy Bucks became sought after. Of course, this enraged The Brain who had appointed himself the new head of the federal reserve but between holding court, making laws and signing all the dozens of Brain Bucks his painters could paint each and every day the guy simply didn't have hours enough in the day to deal with the problems he was creating much less everything else that was going on.

And to make matters worse, his shrink had noticed The Brain's increased anxiety and increased his medications thereby reducing The Brain's mental functions. The Brain was turning into The Idiot.

Time came around for another visit with Dr Stoner. As usual we talked for a few minutes, he wrote a few notes and told me if I kept making progress I'd be going home soon. On the way out of the room, while his back was turned I grabbed his sweater and closed the door behind me. As I walked down the hall I removed his security pass from the sweater, tossed the sweater to the floor and walked away with the security badge in my pocket.

Eventually I began to worry that between the weather and the loons the Honda wouldn't remain safe so I pushed it farther back into the brush and built a somewhat camouflaged lean-to shelter to cover it, me and a few days supplies. I went ahead and swiped a battery from one of the ambulances to keep the motorcycle battery charged. They never found the stolen battery and eventually assumed it was stolen while the ambulance was parked outside the asylum grounds idling at some restaurant or hospital somewhere. After all, they never turn the engines off until they get back so they'd never know. Then every couple of weeks I swapped the ambulance battery I had for another fully charged ambulance battery. With 3 batteries in each ambulance they'd never notice just one slow start from time to time. And if they did notice it or if it did fail to start they'd just assume a bad battery and buy me a new one.

Of course I was being watched. The level of paranoia The Brain was experiencing was more than he could stand and he made sure someone watched me every waking moment for fear that I was planning to overthrow his tiny kingdom. I continued to stow away supplies.

The ladies were getting pretty worked up about having to pay for sex and it was getting to the point that The Brain was beginning to get worried that they too might overthrow his regime. On top of that, word had gotten around that the high doses of medications the shrinks had The Brain taking had rendered him pretty much useless in bed for anything more than oral sex which the ladies could do for each other and better at no charge. While the guy was becoming a basket case, fearing any woman who came to his bed might be carrying a shiv with plans to remove his most vital organ, I decided it was finally time I invited Irene over to my lean-to for a long slow freebee.

"So you've really got a place out here?" Irene asked as we shuffled along the trail. "A place where no one can find us? Where it doesn't have to be just wham bam thank you ma'am?"

"Sure do," I smiled. "I've got a motorcycle too."

"The motorcycle Thor beat up Freebird over?" Irene asked.

"Same one," I answered. "Freebird stole it from me and I got it back."

"But it doesn't run?" Irene questioned.

"It does now," I said.

"You fixed it?" she asked as I placed my arm around her, feeling her breast.

"I sure did," I smiled as she leaned into me reaching her hand into my pants.

"So how much farther?" she asked.

"See that pile of brush over there?" I pointed. "Go in that end."

"Will you start it for me?" she asked.

I started the Honda, warmed it up and warmed up Irene with the dream of riding out of Asylumland on the back of a motorcycle behind a man. I can't say the sex was great for her but for me, considering that it had been forever... Well let me put it this way, if you've never had sex with a 25 year old, hot, sex starved nymphomanic you really don't know what you're missing. My plan was amazingly simple, brilliant and risky as hell.

"Aren't you worried someone will steal your motorcycle and escape before you do?" Irene asked, our bodies entangled on the blanket beside the Honda.

"No problem," I said, "They'll never get out the gate without a pass."

"Well how are you going to get out?" she asked as she traced her fingers across my chest.

"I have a pass," I laughed.

"Can I see it?" I could tell she was more worked up now than before.

"For a price."

"How much?" she asked reaching for her jeans.

"Oh, not money," I said. "Come back here and take a dive. Then I'll show it to you."

"It's a deal," she delighted. Everything she said after that was just noise. But then she did have her mouth full.

Continue To Part 9: Twisting The Throttle